


Is There In Truth No Beauty?-Revisited

by Uhurathe9th



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, F/M, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uhurathe9th/pseuds/Uhurathe9th
Summary: I always had trouble watching this episode, mostly the communication between Kollos and Miranda. A lot was missing in this episode, one of why she was jealous of Spock. I watched it multiple times, and I get the logistics of the plot, then I started to like this episode, it covered physical disabilities, gender and overcoming job qualifications.
Relationships: Spock/Nyota Uhura
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Meeting the ambassador

**Author's Note:**

> 1st encounter: When Spock and Dr. Jones escort Ambassador Kollos from the transporter room to the Ambassador's quarters.

Spock turns to meet Dr. Jones:" I would appreciate an opportunity to exchange greeting with the ambassador."

"I'm sure the Ambassador would be charmed."

They turned towards the cylinder, then it slightly crackled, and a sliver of light starts to spray out. As the lid continues to lift open the green sparkling lights fill the room. Spock's mind was met with a much stronger one, Spock slightly turned his head by the strength of his appearance, his optical nerve was greeted a sharp shard of light the penetrated to the back of his brain. Spock's optical nerve quickly adjusted to the assault and encountered a being with such magnitude. The Ambassador was a tall being, estimate 6'5 all silver, with short trim platinum white hair, and his eyes were pure silver piercing through Spock's mind. One thing Spock noticed right away was that the Ambassador's meld penetrated through most of his mental shield.

_Schn T' gai Spock!_

_What an honor!_ : Kollos greeted Spock with a smile

_Ambassador Kollos, It is I that is honored._

_Mr. Spock, I am projecting an image for a reference point in your mind to assist you._

_Vulcanian has always fascinated me for humanoids, your analytical mind is the most intriguing to be acquainted with._

Kollos scans Spock's thoughts

_Aah, I see you are interested in astrophysics and other science categories. I'm impressed , you enjoy expanding your mind._

Spock is uncomfortable that Kollos is prying into his consciousness, he enhances his shield.

_My apologies Mr. Spock for my rudeness, I didn't mean to invade your thoughts. I seldom have the opportunity to engage in conversation, but I am so amazed by your aptitude to life and academics. It's quite interesting, I would like to engage with you further within the studies of astrophysics, I see you have quite grasped a lot of the dynamics._

_I will be quite pleased to entertain you ambassador with many forms and theories. I studied under the tutelage of my father, Sarak of Vulcan._

_I am also aware that you are a touch and mind telepath as well, but you subdue them._

_I guide myself to my scientific research and meditation to minimize my engagement with other thoughts. Such actions or activities can be taxing. It requires discipline._

_I agree Mr. Spock. But It's time to go, I don't want Mindy to be upset that I have conversed this long. Farewell Commander Spock._

_Farewell Ambassador. As Spock bows his head in respect._

The lid closes and Spock turns to Dr. Jones and says:

"I almost envy you your assignment."

"I see in your mind that you are tempted to take my place." Miranda couldn't help it, she tried to invade the conversation with Kollos, she wondered what they transpired in their meld.

"Not correct, Doctor, although I am aware of your mind attempting to contact mine, Were you born a telepath?" Spock had to endure again another being trying to invade his consciousness. He found it irritating.

"Yes. That is why I had to study on Vulcan"

"I understand. May I show you to your quarters?" Spock sense that Dr. Jones is upset or disturbed about something, and he attempts to assist her.

Miranda felt uncomfortable, and nervous about the conversation. She wants to know more about the Vulcan and what has transpired between them.

"Not yet, I think I'll stay here a bit. Ambassador Kollos often finds the process of transport somewhat unsettling."

"I understand. Our ship's surgeon often makes the same complaint. Do call when you are ready."

Spock pulls on his tunic and leaves the ambassador's quarters, leaving Miranda alone to gather her thoughts of her encounter with the Vulcan. She stares at the cylinder where Kollos is in encased. She removes her visor in her hand firmly, gripping it tightly, and speaks firmly to him.

"What is it he sees when he looks at you? I must know!"

The cylinder opens and green lights mixed with orange and yellow spills into the room again.

_"Miranda, why are you upset? There is no cause to display such negative comments. Such behavior is below you!"_

_Do you prefer him over me? Why? Because he is a Vulcan? I can perform any assignment better than him! He turned down working with you in the first place."_

_Miranda..., Mindy it's not that at all, I find the young man fascinating and I desire to converse with other species if I am able too. It's nice to converse with others without fear of my appearance."_

Miranda huffs and takes a deep breath: _" I feel that he would desire to take my place, I know Vulcanians are discipline people, their way of thinking and lifestyle even intrigues me. I wish I was more Vulcan than human."_

_Mindy? Are you jealous of the commander? This is really below you, you should not say or think such things. Your work with me has been commendable and satisfactory. I also enjoy your company._

Kollos notices her thoughts has simmered down, not as hostile towards the commander.

_" Please proceed to your quarters and rest, I believe Captain Kirk wants to entertain you."_

_"I have no desire to be entertained Kollos, you know I feel about such things."_ Miranda snapped.

_"That is totally up to you, but it would be rude to not attend since you are representing on behalf of the Medusans. That would also reflect on your duties as my Public Relations, go rest and enjoy the company. Be with your kind and fellowship."_

Miranda didn't respond, her thoughts were hurt what Kollos has just said. Commanding her to do her job.

_"Be with my kind Kollos? How prejudice of you."_

Miranda turns to leave to her quarters, while Kollos closes his case and reflect how Miranda has acted towards the commander.

After Spock left, he didn't understand Dr. Jones animosity against him. He was just doing his job required. He did enjoy his conversation with the ambassador it was quite stimulating, the ambassador reflected his respect towards Vulcan way of logic the order of things. But Dr. Jones projected her disapproval, but Spock admires her work with the ambassador. His reasons for turning down the opportunity goes much deeper;

his relationship with his friends and

his hope and desire for that special someone.

While on the turbo lift to the bridge, Spock has decided to wear his IDIC pin for the special dinner in her honor, it will show respect for Dr. Jones present status by working with the ambassador. Maybe she will see his intent of mutual respect for her position. But the human thoughts are raw, Dr. Jones projected resentment towards him, he will place her thought in that area of his brain for illogical concerns. Spock excited to the bridge and went to work.


	2. Forbidden Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd encounter: 
> 
> Summary:  
> The senior officers just had dinner in honoring Dr. Jones, Miranda during the dinner gave sarcastic remarks towards Mr. Spock. The rest of the men at the table declare their endearments and affections towards Miranda. The main topic was beauty and prejudice behind and comparing it to Miranda. She downplays her looks and finds out through her telepathic abilities that some wants to kill someone. Miranda decides to return to her room and rest, and Larry Marvrick reminds the men of her position. Larry leaves to go to Miranda's room and confront her with his undying love for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can either watch the episode or follow along with the transcript from Star Trek transcript. com
> 
> Thoughts and telepathy conversation are Italicized.

Larry is trying to hug Miranda, he wants her close, he wants her to love him. She has done everything to push him away. This is his last attempt to lead her away from Kollos:

Larry pleads: "Please don't talk of that. There's so little time. Please, Miranda, don't go with Kollos."

"Larry, please, try to understand."

As her body crushed next up to his, feeling his strong grip on her arms.

"I understand that you're a woman and that I'm a man, one of your kind, and that Kollos will never be able to give you anything like this."

Larry presses his lips against Miranda, deepening his hungry kiss. Letting her know what she will miss, the passion, the touching and the loving. He breaks the kiss and lays his head against her cheek pleading again for her attention to reason.

"Why did I ever meet you?"

Miranda feels his compassion and desire for her in his kiss and thought, she can't do it no matter how much he gives to her. She wants Kollos. She feels sorry for Larry, he is a good man, he could never give what Kollos has. Miranda used all her Vulcan training to push back her feelings and release Larry. The thought of leaving Kollos hurt her, he needed her and she wanted him.

"I've been honest with you, I simply cannot love the way you want me to."

Larry felt the defeat crash around him, he was going to lose her.

"Miranda.": he sighed deeply

Miranda broke the embrace and stood firm on her decision, she wasn't going to let Larry stand in her way. She has plans, desires, and she needs validations for her existence.

"I'm going away with Kollos. That's final. I think you better leave."

Larry stands there, his thoughts projecting what he felt earlier during the dinner. He let his mind express how he felt about her and Kollos. He wanted Miranda to know how much she had hurt from her rejection.

Miranda picks up Larry's thoughts, her eyes widen in disbelief and it was the same death threat from dinner. She turns back to Larry and confronts and pleads with him.

"So it's you! I didn't know that it was you before. Who is it you want to kill, Larry? Is it me? You mustn't keep this to yourself. I want to help you."

Larry sneers and chuckles at her remark, after begging her to love him.

"So now you want to help me. Now I know what a mere human male has to get a reaction out of you. Make you think he's a patient. The great psychologist. Why don't try being a woman for a change?"

Taking one last look at her, Larry storms out of Miranda's quarters, hurt, mad and rejected. He couldn't deal with the fact that Miranda loves someone else, someone without form or looks. He felt tired, he felt alone. His thoughts run with him,

_Miranda why can't you love me!_

_We could be together_

_I hate him, I hate her, more him for taking her from me._

_What hurts more, other men desire her, desire my Miranda!_

_I can't take it anymore, how much longer can I hold off other men._

_I got to put a stop to this._

He stops in the corridor and turns around to look at down the other end. Larry stares momentarily.

_He just right there, it's easy,_

_I planned this out, it's do or die_

_I knew she would reject me,_

_Miranda wants him, she… loves Him!_

_If I could get rid of him maybe we have a chance._

_I could get into big trouble for doing this,_

_I LOVE HER!_

_I LOVE HER!_

_Why can't she see that, SEE…. know that_

_I'm doing this for us._

Larry walks down the corridor to the Ambassador's quarters, he looks around before he enters. He steps in, the door closes and looks at the cylinder on the stand.

" _I can do this,_

_I can do this,_

Kollos becomes aware that someone has entered his room, scans, and links with Larry. He sees and feels the man's thoughts.

" _What is wrong with this human male?_

_I see anger, hate… towards me!_

_Wait, this is the man who loves Mindy_

_why is he here?_

_He thinks that I have taken his true love from him_

_the fool_

_What can I possibly do with Mindy,_

_I am aware she has feelings for me, nothing of my doing._

_What is Larry doing?_

_He has some form of weapon!_

_Miranda, do you hear me! Come at once to my quarters, I'm under attack! Save this man from himself, or he'll die!_

_Miranda!_

Kollos opens the lip to exposes himself to Larry.

Larry starts to sweat, he tries to control his breathing and validate his reasons for being there.

_This is now or never_

_Miranda is mine, how can she love you!_

_You will not come between us anymore, you monster!_

Larry pulls out the phaser, aims it at the Ambassador. Then bright green lights burst in front of him, he tries to cover his eyes but it's too late. Kollos penetrates through Larry's optical nerve, hitting him at the back of his brain, disrupting all his neo transmitters, they explode, ruptured all reasons from Larry, his mind wanders in the space of in his brain.

Larry screams in agony, he sees a monster, he sees himself and covers his eyes. All his fears come to assault him all at once. His mind couldn't comprehend what was happening. Larry's greatest fears attacked his mind, Miranda. The fear of losing her, the fear of loving, raided his thoughts and mind. He needs to get to a safe place, away from the monster.

" _I need to save them_

_I need to save everyone from the monster_

_It will follow us_

_I must, I must_

_I know where I must be calm_

_show no fear_

_show no fear_

_I can save everyone from the monster"_

He runs out of the Ambassador's room down the corridor to engineering.


	3. Hidden Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Larry attempted to kill Ambassador Kollos and ran out his room screaming towards the engineering department.

Miranda felt Kollos calling her, she jumps off her bed and put on her sensor netting as fast as she could. She opens the door, steps out towards Kollos's quarters. She hesitant upon entering, she knows something bad has happened. The door opens and Miranda enters in, she senses the phaser on the floor and picks it up. At the same time, Kollos opens his lid, the lights fill the room:

" _Miranda, the human male looked upon me, he is lost. What caused him to attack me?"_

" _He wanted me.. to leave you, he declared his love for me and I couldn't give it to him."_

" _Why?"_

" _My duty lies with you Kollos!"_

" _His jealousy and your jealousy has caused more problems, Miranda. This is not acceptable!"_

" _You are denying your only happiness, by staying with me."_

" _I can't help it, I want to stay.. with you."_

" _Your conduct to this whole mission has been unacceptable, your jealousy over the Vulcan is unnecessary, it will jeopardize my placement with the Federation of Planets if this is not taken care of. Do human species always display their attraction in this sort of manner? His manner of conduct of his profession towards you has unbalanced him. Marvick exposing himself to me will cause more retribution than we know."_

Kollos can't believe that the man's desire for Miranda caused so much friction on his journey. Humanoids are becoming annoying and costly, but Miranda, he just can't understand that she has a feeling for him. Even if he could, how can they maintain a working relationship? Her emotions have ruled this situation and now he must clean it up.

" _Miranda, the male will hurt others, you need to repair the damage you have caused. GO! And let Captain Kirk know!"_

Miranda walked over to the intercom and paged Captain Kirk.

"Lt. Uhura here."

"Lt. Uhura, this is Dr. Jones can you have Captain Kirk come to Ambassador Kollos quarters right away. There's been an incident, the Ambassador has been attacked."

"Right away Dr. Jones."

" _Is there any way that I can save Larry Kollos?"_

" _No, his mind was unprotected, he was fully exposed to me."_

Miranda held her head down, feeling remorse and slowly turned and picked up the red visor on the counter.

" _If I could, I will try to reach is mind, I own him that."_

" _What about the truth Miranda, how about revealing the truth to others and yourself."_

" _NO, I need more time, I won't, they shouldn't know, I don't want them to know!"_

" _Because you fail to see the situation as it is Miranda, more incidents will occur. The truth has beauty in it, it restores order."_

Miranda hears her name outside the door, it is Kirk.

"Miranda."

"Miranda!" Kirk knocks on the door and shouts out her name again. Spock and McCoy are standing close by, waiting for Miranda.

Kollos starts to cover himself slowly, Miranda turns and leaves his quarters, still holding the phaser and the red visor. She is greeted by Kirk, Spock, McCoy and two redshirt security guards.

Captain Kirk gives a concerned look at Miranda and states: "Has the Ambassador been hurt?"

Miranda stands in front of Kirk and replies: "No harm has come to the Ambassador, Captain."

"Who could have done such a thing?" asked Kirk

"Larry Marvick."

Kirk gives a shocked look: "Larry Marvick? Why?"

Miranda didn't want to respond, she would have to reveal the truth about everything, she's still not ready.

But Spock knows the consequences of the event if anyone glanced at the Medusan. He notices that Dr. Jones is distant and lofty with her answers.

"Do you know whether he saw the Medusan?"

Miranda turns to Spock: "Yes, he did."

"Then insanity will surely be the result, Captain. Dangerous insanity": replied Spock

"Then we need to put out ship-wide security for Larry Marvick," said Kirk and turns to the Miranda.

"Come with us to the bridge Miranda."

Kollos is left in his quarters and thinks about the incident that is occurring, Larry's mental health and body will cease to exist. His body is overproducing toxins that causing the man's heart rate to accelerate. Larry's mind and body will be unable to process the balance level to hormones maintain himself.

_I do not wish to kill,_

_I only want to help_

_My form has damaged another interplanetary relationship._

_How can our people coexist with other humanoids with our bodies?_

_Miranda, why do you desire me? I am without form, how can we be compatible?_

Kollos remembers his history of his people, they once had humanoid form millenniums ago. They evolved into a group of beings of pure thought. But their transformation came with a price, to other species they became unbearable to glance at, their new form reacts deadly to other beings. But his people desire to partake in the federation of planets, contribute to the needs as collective beings. They needed a PR or even a compatible host to relate to those meetings, the must mind link to express their concerns. Now it's in jeopardy, his mind reaches out now trying to contact Larry Marvick. He finds the lost soul, confused angry and deeply in love with Mindy. Kollos needs Mindy, he has gotten familiar with her and they have developed as he thought a friendship. But now a man has risked everything to be with this woman, and Kollos is unable to restore what has happened.

If Kollos had a heart, it is deeply saddened by the events that occurred.

" _How can I make it right?"_

The six of them head for the turbo lift to the bridge. Kirk stands next to Lt. Uhura and commands her to open a ship-wide announcement.

"Lt. Open up a ship-wide channel."

"Ready Captain."

Kirk stands next to a seated Uhura and makes his statement: "Captain Kirk to all ship personnel. Red Alert. An attempt was made to murder Ambassador Kollos. The murderer is dangerously insane. He is Lawrence Marvick. Be on the watch for him. Kirk out."

Miranda stands next to McCoy, waiting if Larry could be found in time before someone gets hurt. Kollos told her that there was no hope for him. But she had to try to help if she can. Miranda hopes the captain can find Larry before something happens to someone or even the ship.

Then the Enterprise lurches forward and McCoy holds her firmly close to himself. The Enterprise goes off course to an unknown galaxy at warp speed. **LOST.**


	4. Not Safe Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Marvick declared his love to Miranda and she spurned him, then Larry attempt to kill Kollos in his quarters and he was exposed to Kollos's appearance. Larry Marvick just hijacked the Enterprise to unknown space. Kirk, McCoy, Dr. Jones, and two redshirt security guards are heading to engineering to find out what happened to Scotty and the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I thought it was funny how Marvick took out Scotty and his crew, they were Starfleet trained men. LOL and then again when Marvick attacked Miranda with the guards right next to him. Duh? Italic statements are inner thoughts. Also, parts of the episodes are from the original script found in Star Trek.com with the episode

3rd encounter:

Kirk enters engineering and sees Marvick at the warp drive panels his mind is racing, and his body sweating.

" _I can save the ship! I can save the ship! Away from the monster."_

 _NOT FAR ENOUGH, NOT FAR ENOUGH:_ says altered thought.

We'll be safe at the boundaries of the universe! We'll be safe!" Marvick responding to his inner questions.

Kirk and the two security guards drag Marvick from the controls, Marvick shoves all three men from the warp drive control at his attempt to keep from changing course.

" **We'll be safe!"**

" _THEY WILL TRY TO STOP YOU BEWARE!": says altered._

_"_ _No, No":_ _says Larry_

Kirk and the security guards hold Marvick in their attempt to control him, as if Marvick gained unknown strength, he struggles against them. Kirk looks at the man and notices that Marvick's eyes are dilated, he's sweating and breathing hard.

Miranda is behind them listening to the transaction unfold in front of her. She tries to concentrate if she could reach Larry's mind. She is met with resistance, Miranda feels the confusion that Larry is projecting in his thoughts as well as he is saying.

Marvick hears the ship entered the boundaries of space, the static discharge pings against the hull. He knows that they made it, he rolls his head back in victory.

Kirk steps back when the discharge settles and ask Scotty about their location.

"Scotty, where are we?"

"I don't know!" says Scotty as he tries to re-calibrate their position.

Marvick addresses them now, more confident, but still breathing hard. "Beyond the boundaries of the galaxy. We made it. We're safe. We're safe, Captain Kirk."

Kirk looks Marvick, who so confused and lost. The security men still holding him in place. Kirk slightly turns towards McCoy signals him to help Marvick.

"Bones"

Marvick sees the McCoy approach him, his mind struggles again.

" _SEE THE MONSTER GOT TO THEM, THEY DON'T TRUST YOU": said altered_

" _They must, believe me, they must"_

" **NO, NO"** : says Marvick and starts to struggle again his restrained arms.

Kirk steps aside to let McCoy in Marvick's space armed with hypo towards him.

"No, Captain. We mustn't sleep. No, No! They come in your dreams. That's the worst. They suffocate in your dreams.

"No!"

Marvick became so desperate and panicking, he struggles harder against the security men.

Kirk sees that McCoy is making him worse and holds back the doctor. Kirk tries to please Marvick from becoming more unstable. Kirk tries another way to calm down the man.

"All right, All right!":As Kirk hold Marvick to convince him.

"No!": says Larry, showing doubt towards Kirk.

"We'll take you to a place to hide."

"No!" cries Marvick, he tries to stay in control of his thoughts. He saved them from the monster and they don't believe him.

" _WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? IT WILL COME FOR YOU, YOU HAVE FAILED!":_ Shouts altered.

Kirk tries to take Marvick's shoulder and force lead him to a safe place. He trying to reason with him to get him to sickbay and place him in restraints. Marvick's thinking sinks, he is losing his reason to convince them that the ship is safe.

Marvick starts to breathe hard again and desperate to make them understand, he starts to speak rapidly.

"We must stay here with the controls. Ready to speed. Speed! Speed to the next galaxy."

Marvick's body tries to resist the pull that they have on him, they trying to drag him from his post.

" _They don't understand, why don't they understand. We are going to die if they don't listen to me. THEY DON'T TRUST US, THEY DON'T, I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE YOU HAVE FAILED!":_ shouts altered.

Kirk and the security men are practically dragging Marvick from the stairs, then he stops in front of her.

"Miranda": Marvick says so softly.

For one moment the chaos stops in his mind, the one thing, the one person that gave his life meaning standing in front of him. His mind drifts back to the first time he saw Miranda, the attraction, the beginning of their friendship and his deep love for her. It was real then, seeing her made it real again and now. Marvick's body starts to relax, calming down.

"Miranda you are here. With me."

Miranda steps forward and tries to engage in his lost mind. She has to try to fix what she has done to him. Miranda knows Larry loved her once, maybe she can use it to draw him back to some part of reality. She has to try.

"Yes, Larry. I am here." Miranda says gently.

At that moment, Kollos mind links with Miranda: _"_ _Do you see hope for this man?"_

_Yes, I have to try Kollos, please let me."_

" _I'll observe."_

In her consciousness, Kollos is standing next to Amanda. Her telepathic mind is trying to reach the damaged Marvick. She's drawing him in slowly.

Marvick speaks calmly now with more rational:

"I didn't lose you. Oh, my beautiful love, I thought I lost you."

Miranda steps closer to Larry, trying to install serene thoughts to him. Reflecting images of their relationship.

"I am here Larry."

"DON'T BELIEVE HER, REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID TO US! REMEMBER!": shout altered. SHE RATHER BE WITH HIM THAN US!

Miranda seeing these thoughts: "No!"

Kollos interjects: _"_ _Your going to lose him! He is reacting to your rejection? The chemical imbalance is becoming critical, heart rate increasing. His mind is reacting Miranda._

"I can see what he sees," states Miranda, as her link to Larry reveals his hatred towards Kollos, how he stole Miranda from him. How he tried to kill him. But mostly the rejection from her.

"No, don't. Don't think of it!"

Marvick becomes restless again, looking at Miranda brought back his plight. His real reason for his condition. How much he loved her, desire her still, how he hates her because of Kollos. She can never love him.

" _SHE STILL WANTS HIM, DON'T BELIEVE HER, WE SHOULD STILL KILL HIM!":_ shouts altered."LOOK, LOOK! HE'S WITH HER NOW, THEY ARE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER!

During the mind link, Kollos is standing next to Miranda. Miranda desperately trying to calm his mind from the chaos.

"Liar! Liar! Deceiver! You're not alone! You brought it with you.": shouts Larry, he sees that he's losing the situation with her.

His body continues sweating and struggles against physical restraint. He breaks free and grabs her by the throat. Shaking her, while the men tried to gain control of Marvick again.

"Liar! Liar! Liar!":screams Marvick, holding her throat, shaking her.

"YES! KILL HER, LOOK WHAT SHE'S DONE TO US!: screams altered.

Miranda didn't resist, she felt helpless from the struggle in his mind, she broke the link the instant his hands touched her neck. She felt responsible for Larry's condition, she tried to restore his mind, it was too far gone, she has failed.

Marvick's body sags against the restraint, his breathing heavy from the struggle and with his body suffering from the damage. His mind and body are tired against the fight within. He looks at her and the men, warning them and pleads:

"Don't love her!"

"Don't love her!"

"She'll kill you if you love her!": was Marvick last spiteful words at Miranda.

He took one last look at the woman he loves, had loved, had lost. He's heartbroken, his soul is lost because of her. He lost his last chance for living, standing in front of him and cries:

"I love you, Miranda."

With his last breath, Marvick collapses to the floor. McCoy rushes over with his tricorder and kneels to the floor and scans his body. McCoy looks up at the captain.

"He's dead, Jim."

Kirk stares at the body, the man who help designed the Enterprise, a man of intelligence is dead on the floor. Kirk in shock by the statement. How could he just die, without any form of injuries? He stands up and looks at Miranda, looking for answers, and observes her stoic face. She didn't show any emotions at the death of Marvick after he just declared his love for her. Kirk didn't understand her at all: _"_ _What is going on with those two, why did he say what he said about Miranda?"_

Miranda slowly turned and left engineering and stood in the hallway, and replayed the scene just a moment ago in her mind. The way Larry pleaded and declared his love for her publically. He called her liar and stated don't ever love her out loud. A person would've felt embarrassed about such a statement. The one thing that disturbed her was that someone suspects her rues, Dr. McCoy. Miranda picked up his thoughts about her, she wondered if he knows and who and what she is.

Kollos speaks to Miranda: _"_ _You have tried, you need rest, I am requesting that you go and meditate to regain control of yourself Miranda. There was nothing more you can do. I will converse with you later about Marvick."_

" _Yes, of course, Kollos."_

Miranda took a slow walk back to her quarters.

Kollos read her thoughts and realizes the truth must come out, the woman is being stubborn and it cost a man his life, for that he regrets. Marvick, one of the designers of the Enterprise, a flagship in exploration lost by his own hands and love for Miranda. Kollos scans the computer system on board and realizes the ship is lost. They will need his help soon, this will be his gift in return for what has happened. If Kollos had a heart, it grieves about the future decision he has to make.

" _Miranda, this is for your good, regardless what your feelings you have for me. I must do for the sake of others."_


	5. In Search of..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Marvick sent the Enterprise deep into unknown space, the ship is lost. Miranda is close to being discovered who and what she is.

4th Encounter: original dialog from Star Trek transcripts. com

Miranda rose from her deep meditation, her mind has adjusted to the fact the Larry had died because of her and the ship is lost. She has placed those distressing emotions out of her system and set her mind to serve Kollos, nothing must interfere in her plans. She refuses to let her appearance be hindrance or excuses about her abilities. With her telepathic abilities, the captain will need her to guide the ship, this she is confident about, they will need her. She will show them that she is capable of many things, do anything despite her disabilities.

* * *

Meanwhile on the bridge; a navigation team consists of Spock, Chekov and Uhura went over the calculations and using their navigation skills. Without a star as a reference point, the Enterprise was stuck in limbo in space. They reviewed star charts and other resources to find a way out, they tried to calibrate their previous location without success. Uhura and Chekov frustration starts wear on their faces, they all agreed, without the stars to guide them, the ship could wander endlessly in the void. The Enterprise was lost, they returned to their positions and continued to monitor and gather data.

This situation bothered Spock, his mind tried to gather all sorts of logical theories. All the physics he was taught was useless in this starless space. Spock was aware of who can save the ship. But holding back the thought because of Miranda's reaction. Her jealousy spilled about him like running water, she despised him for illogical reasons. Humans were known for their reactions to other capabilities. "Quite illogical" was his thought.

Spock senses the Ambassador brushing against his consciousness during his research, as thou scanning the situation at hand. He knows Kollos will be the key element of this ship's survival.

Spock turned his chair towards the monitor and stared into the vast emptiness in front of him with the bridge crew.

Kirk records into his log about the situation, he is too lost that his ship, his Enterprise is gone. He has to find a way to save the ship, everything is working in perfect order, except space itself. He takes a deep sigh as he sits in his chair and records his log.

" _Captain's log, stardate 5630.8. As a result of Larry Marvick's insane fears, the Enterprise lies derelict in uncharted space. We have no way to determine our position in relation to the galaxy. We are in a completely unknown void."_

Kirk becomes frustrated and wants answers, but mostly solutions to his dilemma. He gets up and approaches Spock's station.

"Where are we?"

"We are evidently far outside our own galaxy, judging from lack of traceable reference points. When we exceeded warp speed factor nine point five, we apparently entered a space-time continuum."

Dr. McCoy arrives on the bridge with his medical padd in his hand and heads straight to the commanders.

"I have the autopsy report on Marvick. Heart action stopped, cause unknown. Respiration stopped, cause unknown. Brain activity stopped, cause. Shall I go on?"

"You mean he simply died."

"I mean he evidently could not live with what he saw," replied McCoy.

"Or what he felt." Kirk turns to Scotty. "Damage report, Scotty?"

"We need some repairs, sir, but the ship is intact."

Kirk turns back to Spock to gather more reports. "Position report, Mister Spock."

Spock with his arms folded across his chest gave all the information that he and his team could find: "Impossible to calculate. We lack data to analyze. Our instruments appear to be functioning normally, but what they tell us makes no sense. Our records are clear up to the point at which we left our galaxy."

"Then we should be able to navigate back."

"Unfortunately, we lack reference points on which to plot a return course. We experienced extreme sensory distortion, and we shall do so again if we attempt to use warp speed. And we cannot re-cross the barrier using sub-light speed."

During the commanders' conversation, the rest of the bridge crew listened as well, their despair and frustration appear on their faces.

Chekov blurts out his opinion: "A madman got us into this, and it's beginning to look as if only a madman can get us out."

Spock was still getting used to the young ensign's banter or a jest to situations, seldom does he entertains them. But senses the ensign's frustration of the situation.

"An entertaining suggestion, Mister Chekov, but not very helpful."

Kirk took Chekov's statement to heart, the ensign had a point. Kirk quickly came to a thought, an idea. He looks at Spock:

"There is someone else aboard who might be able to help us navigate. The Medusans have developed interstellar navigation to a fine art. Could Kollos function despite the sensory distortion?"

"Very possibly. The Medusan sensory system is radically different from ours. Perhaps for the purpose of this emergency, I might become Kollos."

"Explain."

"A fusion. A mind-link to create a double entity. Each of us would enjoy the knowledge and sensory capabilities of both. We will function as one being."

"Hazards?"

"If the link is successful there will be a tendency to lose separate identity. A necessary risk. Of course, Doctor Jones will not wish to give me permission to accomplish the mind-link."

McCoy added to Spock's statement: "I don't think she'll want anyone to intrude in the kind of rapport she has with Kollos."

"Doctor Jones has shown reluctance every time I've asked to converse with Kollos. In some ways still most human, Captain, particularly in the depth of her jealousy."

Spock spoke freely of his observation of Dr. Jones, it was in fact not an idea. Her thoughts flowed strongly against him when Spock was in her presence.

Kirk thought of a quick idea to hinder the woman. "I could confine her to quarters."

Not with her strong telepathic mind, she could easily influence thoughts to others, she could overpower the captain if Jones choose too.

"Not sufficient. Her telepathic powers are formidable. If it is at all possible, her mind must be so engaged that no thought of what I am doing shall intrude."

Kirk with a smile on his face: "I think that could be arranged."

McCoy rolls his eyes back, while one of Spock's eyebrows twitches upward.

* * *

Everything was arranged, Spock had to meditate to keep his thoughts from wander or draw attention from Miranda. Kirk had to put on his best romantic charming attitude to keep her occupied during Spock's rendezvous with Kollos.

Spock was given a signal from the bridge to execute the plan, he slowly walked down the corridor with his visor in hand. He tapped in the codes and entered Kollos' quarters, and put the visor on his face. Spock opened his mind and called Kollos' presence. He slowly opened his lid where the bright green light fills the room with Kollos' presence. Spock is met with a mind link and again their minds intertwined.

" _I've been waiting for you Spock."_

" _I've come on behalf of Captain Kirk, the ship is in distress."_

" _I am aware of your situation for some time and I will assist you. I will need access to your computer control system through your thoughts."_

" _Please proceed."_

Kollos probes through Spock's mind where his knowledge of the ship's navigation system is stored. As Kollos scans Spock's thoughts, he becomes aware of personal things.

The conflict being half Vulcan.

the conflict with his father.

the conflict with his divorce.

The desire to be accepted.

the desire to be loved.

Spock tries to shield Kollos from venturing into his personal matters, but the Being is much stronger than him.

" _Spock as I gather information, let us converse. Who is.. Uhura? I see images of this female being. Is she your mate?"_

Spock sighs in his thoughts from the invasion: _"Lt. Uhura is our communication officer on the bridge."_

" _You are attracted to her, is she aware of your… feelings?"_

" _I do not wish to converse at this time about the topic."_

" _You should approach the female if you so call desire her."_

" _Ambassador your mission is to provide navigation support to the Enterprise to safely guide us out of time-warped continuum."_

Spock longs to interact with Uhura, his position and his self-doubt about her, always hinder the opportunity. He admires her work, mind, and beauty. Still tucked in the deepest of his mind Lord Bryon's epic poem, forbidden passion, forbidden love. That's how he saw Uhura, forbidden.

Kollos laughs, _"Please Spock humor me, I seldom enjoy an intellectual company and yours is most welcomed."_

" _I wondered why you decided to turn down my commission to work with me. Now I understand. I see your heart Vulcan, you long for her."_

" _I have no right to pursue such a person."_

" _Why not, does she not see you as a compatible mate?"_

" _I do not know, she is… "_

" _Desired by others, I think I understand."_ Kollos see the mating rituals among humanoids is complex.

" _Kollos what of Dr. Jones? She desires you more above any other."_

Kollos laughs again, he commends Spock's distraction. _"I am aware of Mindy, I wish not to hurt her. I have known for some time she as human's say (loves me). I can not return what I don't have Spock."_

" _An internal mind-meld is one of the highest forms of communion, Ambassador."_

" _Yes, I am aware. Ahh, Spock, we are a pair, our situation has placed us both in a continuum."_

" _Ambassador, could you explain the scenario with Larry Marvick?"_

" _Marvick's jealousy drove him to insanity, I felt his pure hatred towards me. I had to defend myself from his assault. It was very distressing, I grieved about the results. I tried to prevent those chain of events. Mindy held back the truth about the situation and the truth about herself. She knew the moment when we came aboard this ship that Marvick was dangerous in his thoughts and his love for her."_

" _I am aware that Dr. Jones is human, emotions are common."_

" _No Spock, to provide the services with me, calls for discipline, she saw that in you. Your intelligence, strength and analytical mind caused her to be jealous of you. She knew the kind of projection that you have, is what I needed. The mind-meld will have gain strength instead of tired or weariness from her."_

" _Ambassador, have you completed your search?"_

" _I thought we could become friends Spock?"_

" _Privacy is what I desire for my thoughts at the moment."_

Kollos chuckles: _"my apologies for making you uncomfortable Mr. Spock. I enjoyed observing your culture and your special interest in Uhura."_

Spock observed Kollos extend his mind to distract Dr. Jones from contacting him. As tho he had long arms to keep her distracted, he knew what they were doing.

" _Do not worry Spock, I will save the captain's ship and I will deal with Mindy."_

" _If the situation was different, I would be honored to had serve Ambassador."_

" _I know Mr. Spock, I am aware of our compatible minds, I don't know if my emotional humor could tolerate your disciplined character. Vulcanian subdues their emotions with good cause_."

" _Yes, centuries ago, our emotions as people were very destructive and violent. Because of Surak, we as people are able to maintain balance."_

" _I have completed my analysis and found a way for your ship be to return to your galaxy. Do not worry about Mindy, I will deal with her appropriately. Inform your Captain Kirk that I will assist in his need."_

" _He would be relieved to know of this opportunity. Thank you again, Ambassador."_

" _Mr. Spock we will mind-link soon, please be prepared."_

" _I will meditate and build resilience for my mental shields."_

" _Mr. Spock! We have been discovered, Miranda is on her way to me."_

" _If you take care of handling Dr. Jones your way, the captain and I will handle her from here, there is not much she can do without your consent."_

" _I see your plan Mr. Spock, and thank you again for the deep stimulating conversation."_

Spock nods his head as the lid to the case slowly closes, Kollos retreats into his case. Spock turns to head out the door and is greeted by the captain, Dr. McCoy, and Dr. Jones.


	6. Jealousy's Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Spock had a private session with the Ambassador, and he is willing to help the Enterprise find it's way out of the void.

Jim Kirk is using his debonair charms on Miranda to keep her distracted, he is looking at her and feels attracted to her than before. He starts to wonder if there could be more, he wants to know how deep is the relationship with Kollos and ask prying questions:

"A meeting of minds is all very well, but what about love, Miranda? You're young, attractive and human. Sooner or later, no matter how beautiful their minds are, you're going to yearn for someone who looks like yourself, someone who isn't ugly."

As Kirk lifts one of her hands to hold, attempting to draw a connection to her.

Miranda is drawn back by Kirk's description of love and beauty, in fact, insulted that she snaps back at him.

"Ugly!"

"What is ugly?"

"Who is to say whether Kollo is too ugly to bear or too beautiful to bear?"

Miranda is hurt by his statement, Kollos is the most beautiful thing to have encountered, almost sexy in her opinion. Just being with him, gives her comfort, desire and even when they argue it stimulates her.

She turns away from Kirk, he left a foul taste in her mouth and walks away.

Kirk realizes his mistake takes another approach to draw her attention and follows her.

"Miranda, I meant no insult. Please."

Kirk was able to catch and redirect her attention back to him, smiling down at her. Kirk tries again his romantic charms:

"Here are among the roses. A very romantic setting. I wish there were moonlight, too."

Kirk looks into her blue eyes and sees how they sparkle in the light, holds her shoulder as if to steady her position. He found it inviting and makes his move to draw her in with his deep low voice.

"Moonlight would suit you very well."

Kirk bends his head toward Miranda, she quickly senses his intent and quickly backs off.

"I see you're a very complicated man."

Miranda wanted to tell him more but was intercepted by waves of conversations. Kollos and Spock are conversing. She managed to get a glimpse of them.

"Kollos, no."

" _It is done Miranda, it needs to be done, Spock and I have come up with a plan."_

Kirk holds on to Miranda as she struggles for release, she jerks her head towards him.

"Let me go. You have no idea what a dangerous thing Spock is planning."

Miranda jerks her arms from Kirk's hold.

"We must stop him!

Let me go!"

Miranda turns and leaves the conservatory, Kirk following her. He hopes Spock was able to talk and convince the Ambassador to help the ship. She was frantically running, Kirk had to chase Miranda to keep up with her, they reach the turbolift at the same time and rode it to Kollos' deck. Kirk contacts sickbay and informed McCoy to intercept them at the Ambassador's quarters.

" _How could they, he wouldn't turn against me, please Kollos no, don't betray me in front of them. Please give me a chance."_ : Miranda thought to herself, she starts to wringing her hands together. She knows what is happening, she was not ready for the outcome.

The turbo doors open and Miranda and Kirk proceed down the corridor and at the opposite end, they see McCoy walking to the same door. Miranda was about to open when Spock comes out, he takes off his visor and looks at her sternly.

"The Enterprise is at stake. It is not possible for you to be involved."

"Why? I've already committed myself to mind-link when Kollos and I reach the Medusan vessel. Why put yourself in jeopardy?" Miranda is still afraid that Kollos will choose Spock over her, he has the ability to steer the ship.

"This is not a duty that you can assume. I am aware of the fact that your telepathic competence might be superior to mine, but there's a more important factor. The object is to pilot this ship. That is something you cannot do." Injected Spock with a stern voice.

"Then teach me to operate the ship. I can memorize instantly!": Miranda says desperately.

McCoy has been standing by listening to the conversation, and he already speculated Miranda's condition. He realizes that the jealously issue with Spock is overdone.

"Now wait a minute. I realize that you can do almost anything a sighted person can do, but you can't pilot a starship!"

Miranda is stunned that McCoy called her out, Spock and Kirk are also surprised, they first glanced at McCoy and then back to Miranda. The reaction was one of disbelief, Kirk looks at Miranda:

"What?"

Spock raises his hand in front of her face and watches her eyes, they did not flinch, but her body reacted instead.

"Fascinating"

McCoy continues to explain her condition: "I'm sorry Miranda, but you must be realistic. You are blind, and there are some things you simply cannot do."

Miranda stood there in shame, embarrassed, and angry. She thought she could fool them all, she thought she could play it off, be normal. That's all she ever wanted in life, to be normal, and accepted. The only advantage she had was her telepathic abilities.

Spock waves his hand over her dress, barely touching her. Again he was shocked for a Vulcan.

"Evidently a highly sophisticated sensor web. My compliments to you, and your dressmaker."

Kirk is amazed at the turn of events and looks at Miranda.

"Yes, of course. It's the only reasonable explanation. You can't see and Kollos can't hurt you."

Spock is still puzzled by Miranda's behavior towards him, but he doesn't recognize her blindness as a fault.

"An elegant solution. But I fail to understand why you apparently try to conceal your blindness, Doctor Jones."

Kirk replied:" I think I understand. You said it. Pity is the worst of all."

With a strong tone, Miranda responded to him and defended herself: "PITY! Which I hate. Do you think you can gather more information with your eyes than I can with my sensors? I could play tennis with you, Captain Kirk. I might even beat you. I am standing exactly one meter, four centimeters from the door. Can you judge distance that accurately? I can tell you how fast your heart is beating."

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy look at Miranda as she tries to defend herself. She sounded desperate. She wants them to believe she is capable of navigating the Enterprise. Kirk gave a sympathetic answer.

"No, that won't be necessary. Mr. Spock will make the mind-link. No other decision is possible."

"No. I won't let you.": snaps Miranda.

"Please. Do not fight us like this, Doctor Jones. I appeal to you as a colleague. Do not oppose us.": Injects McCoy.

"No": snaps Miranda.

Kirk looks at Miranda and states to her again: "If we can't persuade you, there is someone who can. You'll have to take this up with Kollos. For your own sake."

There was silence for a brief moment. Miranda knows she has to convince Kollos that she is capable of handling the situation. Her telepathic mind is stronger than Spock's and she can handle Kollos as well. She walks into his quarters, without a visor, and the men watched as the door closed behind her.

Kirk approaches the doctor:" Bones, why hadn't you told me?"

"She would have told you herself if she had wanted you to know. I respected her privacy."

"Yes, there's a great deal to respect about that lady." Kirk knowing the truth about her and the fact she didn't have to worry about appearing in front of the Medusan.

Meanwhile inside a great battle is going on:

Miranda opens her mind and approach Kollos and his lid opens and the green presence fills the room.

_"Why can't I navigate this ship!"_

_"It is impossible for you to do so, Mr. Spock has the experience."_

_"I'm better than him, my mind right now, can persuade his thoughts!"_

_"NO, do not interfere."_

_"It is my right!":Miranda says sternly._

_"YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME!_

_YOU DARE COMPARE YOURSELF TO ME!_

_YOU DARE THINK YOURSELF AS A MEDUSAN!_

_YOU DARE THINK YOURSELF AS A VULCAN!_

_YOU THINK TO HIGHLY OF YOURSELF MIRANDA!_

_Even now you press your thoughts against ME? AGAINST ME!" :Kollos explains sternly._

_"I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN THEM, I KNOW I CAN!_

_HOW CAN I CONVINCE YOU_

_WHAT MUST I DO?_

_I HAVE DONE…. EVERYTHING… EV-ERY-THING_

_I SACRIFICED MY LIFE FOR YOU!_

_JUST FOR YOU KOLLOS!" Miranda practically shouting in their meld._

_AT WHAT COST MIRANDA!_

_LOOK AT THE COST!_

_THIS SHIP IS LOST IN A CONTINUUM VOID BECAUSE OF YOU-YOU!_

_SEEK THEIR THOUGHTS OF THEIR DISPAIR_

_DO YOU SEE IT?_

_DO YOU FEEL THEM?_

_THEY ARE LOST IN THIS SPACE MIRANDA_

_THEY BLAME US, NO THEY BLAME ME._

Kollos calms down.

_"I will mind-link with the Vulcan, you will behave and serve as the PR that you were trained to be. You will support them._

_"NO!"_ shouts Miranda.

Kollos' mind came down on Miranda's and applied pressure to her that she submitted in pain and defeat, that she let out a piercing scream.

 _"You will obey and respect the Vulcan, this ends now Miranda, do not interfere."_ Kollos returns to his case and closes the lid.

Miranda stood up, straighten up her dress, she felt defeated and hurt from Kollos. She loved him, she wanted to be his everything:

his body,

ears,

mouth,

but mostly his heart.

She turned and left the room and met her defeat. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy heard Miranda scream. They turned towards the door, a moment later Miranda came out solemn.

"It seems I have no choice but to obey you."

Kirk looked at her, he didn't want to do it, but he had no choice. He had to save his ship and crew. They left to prepare to make arrangements for Kollos to be on the bridge.


	7. Falling into Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Kollos agrees to help the Enterprise by mind-linking with Mr. Spock. Miranda is quite upset that they are aware of her blindness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italicized statements are inner conversations or thoughts.

Spock was in his quarters meditating, he is trying to clear his thoughts from the Ambassador. He is aware of his strong mind that could overtake Spock's thoughts at any time. While he was meditating, the Ambassador was carefully escorted to the bridge, with men with thick visors, a shield is set up to keep the Ambassador's presence from wandering around the ship. Any sight of him to anyone on the bridge will have severe consequences. The bridge crew was slightly nervous about the presence of the Ambassador, but it was better than waiting in a void with nowhere to go.

Spock is ready, he has his visor in hand, his mind is well conditioned to be shared with another being. But he is leery about mind-linking with another being, one, in particular, brings back to similar case with Henoch.* It was a total transfer of his thoughts and it almost cost them the ship.

Kirk continues his command logs:

_Captain's log, supplementary. Our one chance to return to our own galaxy is dependent upon the navigational skills of the Medusan ambassador. With that in end view, Kollos has been brought to the bridge and place behind a protective shield._

Miranda standing by the command chair quietly, waiting for the full transformation. She will actually hear her lover for the first time, she is slightly nervous.

Kollos is placed by Spock's station with the protective shield practically encasing his station. Spock has his stoic face, ready for his mission. He walks up the three steps to his station where Kollos is waiting. He puts on the visor on his face and calls Kollos to his presence. His lid cracks slowly, it lifts just enough that the green light displays in the small area. Kollos steps into Spock's body as a person just walking through a regular door. They meet each other;

" _Spock, I am ready."_

Kollos has never been in a body of any form. He feels Spock's rapid heartbeat, the blood circulating threw out his body and he slowly looks at his limbs. Humanoids have form, Kollos starts to explore the body that he is in, the organs, the five senses, especially the eyes. They are windows to the universe.

" _Ambassador, the ship is ready for your services."_

Spock steps back into the shadow of his mind, but aware of what Kollos is sharing through his mind and body. Spock's mental block against his deeply personal thoughts continue to project to Kollos, it's another neverending battle to conceal his mind.

Kollos know that Spock is at his mercy on his thoughts;

" _Don't worry Spock, I am aware our thoughts are mingling, it quite fascinating."_

They stood up and moved from behind the shield, Spock removes his visor, he glances around the bridge and sees new/familiar people, a smile breaks across Spock's face.

The bridge crew stares in awe, seeing Mr. Spock break into a smile. They never have seen the Vulcan smile before, so it was a shock to see him, but when Mr. Spock spoke they were all dumbstruck, he sounded so jovial.

"This is delightful. I know you. All of you. James Kirk, Captain, and friend for many years."

The body Spock steps down the three steps with a smile and slightly chuckles at Kirk. Inside Spock tried to curb his enthusiasm about meeting the familiar crew, but Kollos was so excited. Jim can't believe his friend is so familiar in tone and attitude, he couldn't tell who was talking to him.

"And Leonard McCoy, also of long acquaintance."

Kollos broke out in laughter again, while McCoy stared with a blank face in shock. His Vulcan friend laughing and talking nonchalantly. McCoy's eyes and ears or his mind could believe it. McCoy is thinking about how this is going to working out, he starts to fear for the real Spock.

Spock/Kollos looks up at Uhura _"_ _Please do not approach her, she wouldn't understand":_ inner Spock tried to stop Kollos from talking to her. _"_ _Don't worry my friend, I just want to greet her and also give you an opportunity later."_

Inner Spock deeply sighs from embarrassment as he watched his body step up towards the woman of his desire. He has no control over himself or Kollos, he has free rein of the bridge and situation.

Kollos has a big smile on his face when he approached Uhura.

"And Uhura, whose name means [freedom] She walks in beauty, like the night."

Kollos says whimsical and winks at her.

Inner Spock saw the shock on her face, she was speechless, and he wonders how could face her again. Spock continues to stare at his Uhura, and wonder if she understands the meaning of the poem. He sees her eyes still looking at him curiously and wonders if she can see his intentions.

Uhura just stood there looking if it was Spock or not, she was touched by the statement. Her heart fluttered, her mind was trying to figure out what did the statement mean, did Mr. Spock had feelings for her or what. Uhura continued to look at the handsome Vulcan as he looks at her with a twinkle in his eyes. _"_ _His he actually flirting with me?"_

McCoy stares as Kollos flirt with Uhura, he couldn't believe it! "That's not Spock!" he says sternly at Jim.

Kollos turns back to McCoy: "Are you surprised to find that I've read Byron, Doctor?"

"That's Spock!"

Kirk is hesitant about who he is addressing, he looks at Kollos carefully and wonders if this was a good idea putting his friend at risk.

"Am I addressing the Ambassador?"

"In part. That is, part of us is known to you as Kollos."

Kollos finally turns to Miranda, who has been standing there quietly listening to the exchange. She can tell the difference in the delivery that Kollos was speaking. She has known him enough to tell his personality. To her, Kollos sounded so handsome, exotic despite that he is using Spock voice and body. But though Spock voice, she can actually picture Kollos.

Kollos sees Miranda with a new view and vision, now he sees her through the eyes of a man, a man in form. Something came over Kollos, a longing to be with her. It was a new feeling, the body has done something to him.

"Ah, Miranda. There you are." Kollos stares at her then start towards Miranda with a smile. She knows Kollos is smiling at her, it touches her.

"O brave new world, that has such creatures in it," Kollos says sweetly, and smiling. Seeing from Spock's eyes, he finds Miranda beautiful.

"Tis new to thee": Miranda consciousness brushed against his, hearing his voice overwhelmed her, it was intimate and loving.

Kollos was close to her and expressed his thoughts to her: "My world is next for us." as he grabbed her hand as a promise. Then in an instant, the loving moment was gone and back to work. Kollos turns to Kirk and spoke like a human.

" _Most uncomfortable," says inner Spock._ He sees the strong attraction the two beings have for each other and realizes it played a big factor in their current situation.

"Captain Kirk, I speak for all of us you call Medusans. I am sorry for the trouble I've brought to your ship."

"We don't hold you to blame for what happened, and thank you now for your help."

Miranda stood there and fully blocked her mind, her jealous came back. She wanted to steer the ship, she wanted to be normal again. The fact Kollos is sharing the mind and body with Spock jolted her to the core. She must keep her peace of mind and not express or project in any form.

"And now to the business at hand. With your permission, Captain."

Kirk turns towards Sulu: "Yes, Mister Sulu, release the helm to Mr. Spock."

"Aye, sir"

As Sulu steps away Kollos proceeds to the helm and sits in the chair and places his visor on the helm.

Kollos' eyes quickly adjust to the instruments that he and Spock had conversed about. His hands glide across the helm controls and adjust the system. Kollos felt like home, at first it felt different and but useful with the form that he is in. Medusans use another technique to chart stars and all other types of navigation, But the Terran style are simple and it took no time to find.

"Co-ordination is completed."

"Then go ahead, Mr. Spock."

"Warp one in six seconds. Five, four, three, two, one, zero."

The warp engines come to life, they execute Kollos' plan, the Enterprise glides through the barrier, where static and bright lights pings against the ship for a moment, then breaking free into normal space where stars appear again.

Kollos turns to the navigator: "Position report, please, Mr. Chekov."

"Our position? Our position is so close to the point where we entered the void, the difference isn't worth mentioning. Bull's-eye, Mr. Spock!"

"Thank you, Mr. Chekov," Kollos says with a smile; mission completed. _"_ _We work well as a team Spock."_

" _Indeed Ambassador, you are efficient in plotting our course out of the void is fascinating, when we have finished with business here, I would like document your technique as future reference."_

"Maneuver completed, Captain."

"Take over, . Thank you, Ambassador."

Kollos leave the seat for Sulu to return, Kollos knows his time has come. He glides his hand over his chest to feel the humanoid casing. " _Spock, your encased form is interesting, I find that I am aware of the physical properties around me._ "

" _There are times that it can be a problem."_ : says Inner Spock.

"Mr. Chekov, plot a new course," commanded Kirk.

"The new heading will be plotted in a minute, sir."

Kollos starts to walk to Spock's station, then stops and make a revelation statements:

"How compact your bodies are. And what a variety of senses you have. You depend on it for so much. But is anyone of you really its masters?"

Kollos has and is experiencing things from Spock that is integrating into him. And surmises the outcome of physical beings and starts to feel a sense of sadness for humanoids.

"But most of all, the aloneness. You are so alone. You live out your lives in this shell of flesh."

That is how Miranda feels in the concealed world of her blindness, the loneliness that Kollos is expressing. That loneliness is what she fights against now, her competing spirit not to fail because of her blindness.

Kollos continues as he is on the verge of crying:

"Self-contained, separate. How lonely you are. How terribly lonely."

" _Kollos please contain yourself, you are pertaining to human form of_ _concept you have never experienced."_ Spock was trying to refocus Kollos to return to his carrier.

Kirk listened to Kollos rattle on about his concept of being human. He must get his Spock back and soon. The longer Kollos stays in this state, the high chances that he would want to stay in Spock's body. He too remembers Sargon and Henoch and how the situation got out of hand.

"Ambassador, you must dissolve the link."

Kollos turns to Kirk and looks for more time: "So soon?"

Kirk spoke firmly, shaking his head to keep Kollos on track: "There must be no delay."

Kollos shakes his head in agreement, sad but completely understand:

"You are wise Captain."

Kollos slowly turns back to Spock's station and walked behind the shield. He knees down before the carrier, his hand hovers on it and lid starts to open.

Sulu looks up and sees the visor, and quickly turns to Kirk.

"Captain!"

Kirk looks at the visor and knew doom was pending and lurches for Spock's station shouting: **"SPOCK!**

DON'T LOOK! COVER YOUR EYES!"

No one could move, no one dared, time stood still for them. Then a piercing scream came forth as a man in anguish pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOS: Return to Tomorrow*


	8. Fallen into Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inner thoughts are Italicized

Miranda consciousness called out to Kollos: _"Thank you."_

Kollos was distracted by her presence, and when he attempted to re-enter his carrier. Spock realizes that he didn't have his visor, his mind tried to reach Kollos, then the green light burst through his mind, piercing Spock's optical nerves, shattering his thoughts. Spock screams inside his consciousness when he saw the real Kollos' form.

Kollos turns to see what had happened, and sees parts of himself reflecting back into Spock. _"NOOOOOOOO, NOT YOU MY FRIEND, PLEASE NOOOOOOO!"_

Spock's conscious surfaces to the real world and the scream are heard throughout the bridge.

Kollos re-enters Spock's sub-conscious and tries to find him through the maze of confusion. All of Spock's fears and hate burst through his mind, out of control. Kollos searches for him, his only friend. Spock's world turns into cliffs and abysses, where he is falling but in pain, anguish, hurt, fear and alone. All those things that targeted him in his early life surfaced like a torrent hurricane. Spock is breathing heavy holding on a ledge with one hand, his mind racing trying to regain balance, but nothing makes sense. A hand reaches for him, but because of fear, he did not dare look up or reach for the helping hand. He hears a distant voice:

" _Spock take my hand!"_

Spock's fingers are slipping, he's losing his grip and he hears the voice again.

" _Spock, please take my hand!"_

Spock looks up and tries to focus on the voice, he can't see who it is, the pain rages through his body. Spock falls into the abyss, screaming.

Kollos desperately tried to reach Spock, he sees the tormented mind of his friend on the ledge hanging by his fingers. Kollos tries to control the raging chaos in Spock's mind, and he sees Spock fall into the darkness of his own mind.

" _NOOOOOOOOOOO, Spock!"_

* * *

Meanwhile on the outside of Spock's body:

The form stands in front of the bridge crew, confused, his mind trying to gather information in front of him. His eyes trying to focus.

Kirk shouts to his crew: "Don't move!"

McCoy looks up at Spock's face, the confusion and the lost look of help. McCoy starts to walk towards him.

"But, Jim!"

Kirk says again in a stern voice: "No one is to move."

Kirk looks at this friend and sees the confused look on Spock's face.

Spock strains to focus his vision and see the torment, hurt, those who had hurt him throughout his life. HUMANS! He had suffered so long around humans, laughed at, judged and teased. Spock's alter torches his exposed mind.

" _SEE, THEY HATE YOU, THEY ALWAYS DID! WHY DO YOU CARE FOR THEM? THEY HAVE USED YOU._

Kollos tries to talk to altered state: _"You must go, you have nothing to fear, they are to help you, Spock!"_

Kirk extents his arms towards his friend: "Spock? It's all right. You're safe with us now."

Spock blinks and again tries to adjust his vision.

" _DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! THEY COME TO HURT YOU LIKE BEFORE, THEY COME TO TORMENT YOU AGAIN.":States Altered Spock._

" _No, Spock I can help you, they want to help you. Please let me help you, my friend."_ Kollos tries again to reach Altered Spock.

But Altered Spock had more control and lunges at Kirk grabbing his arms. Spock overpowers Kirk and tosses him. McCoy tries to reach Spock and he also shoves McCoy with both of his fists. The rest of the bridge crew tries to subdue their former commander without success. When one of the security guards fell on the floor from the charge. Kirk grabs his phaser and aims it at his friend and fires. Kirk watches Spock collapse on the bridge floor.

Kollos observes the results of his actions, defeated, angry and retreats back into his carrier. The guilt pours over him that Spock's mind is gone. Kollos again has failed on his mission, he wanted to help the ship and instead destroyed a commander and a friend.

McCoy rushes over, and checks on Spock:

"He's hardly breathing. Help me get him to Sickbay."

The crew around slowly gather Spock's body.

Uhura stood in shock when she saw the captain shoot Spock. She really didn't know what happened to her commander, when she heard McCoy say that Spock was barely breathing. Nyota felt her own heart stop too, she always wanted to know him better. Things happened so fast; one second Spock quotes a famous stanza from a poem to her and then this. She watched the men carry Commander Spock away to sickbay.

Meanwhile; Miranda stood quietly, listening to the commotion. She tries to reach Kollos, without success, he has withdrawn. She felt his grief and despair over Spock, Miranda did warn them about the dangers of the connections. She knew she was better suited, but now it's different with her rival out of the way. It's not what she had expected, knowing Kollos feels for her. This is not what she had expected, Miranda feels remorse.

* * *

Somewhere, deep in the abyss of Spock's mind, there is a Vulcan;

Spock sits in a fetal position in fear, feeling rejected by his world, and the universe, a world he can no longer control or filter. All his logic destroyed, all his training vanished, no Surak to protect his thoughts, they are all raw and gnawing at him. His life of despair plays in front of him, starting with his childhood:

Where he was unable to analyze his developing human feelings, he delved into the lifestyle of the Vulcan culture, that struggled to accept him and his human mother. Alone.

His father was unable to see his world crumbling around him, forcing Surak's philosophy to only sustain him. Alone.

His rejection of the Vulcan Academy by his leaders, doubting his genetic makeup that would tarnish their perfect record. Alone.

His struggle to maintain any form of relationship with humans during his trials in Starfleet. Alone.

The fears, the prejudice never stopped to give him peace in his life. Alone.

All of it burst out and dancing in front of him to torment.

Spock saw Altered state strike back with his physical force, which did nothing to soothe the wars raging inside or around him. His heart rate beating loudly in his body, the world around him is freezing, he can't find warmth or comfort where he is. Lost in the deep abyss of his mind, there is no relief. Spock cries because of it, he's tired of being alone; He says to himself; _"I… I want to die."_


	9. Remorse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inner thoughts are Italicized.

**Kollos POV:**

" _I can't believe this, another mind lost. How can Starfleet trust me now, I destroyed one of their greatest officers."_

Kollos grieved the loss of his friend and continues to converse the outcome to himself.

" _It is my fault, I… desired his form, why couldn't just return to my carrier. Why did I do this? I am a selfish being, when I saw Miranda, my thoughts turned to her and had a new desire formed in my thoughts and now…. Because of me, a great mind is lost."_

Kollos' conscious roared in his carrier with frustration and grief, he was overwhelmed. He wonders what his people would say of this disaster that has occurred on this mission.

*Kollos relived the events before the disaster:

*how his body connected with their mind/thoughts;

*seeing the female form of Miranda stimulated him.

*Two solid forms touching one another never occurred to him and that fascinated him.

*Then forgetting the purpose of why he came out of his environment to help the ship.

His people once had form millenniums ago and now they are floating consciously in space and time. Had he forgotten on purpose? his guilt torments him now.

Kollos relived the event that played on the bridge, how Spock screamed and the fear he saw on the man's face. His ugliness that penetrated throughout his brain overwhelmed the Vulcan.

" _How can I repay for such a mistake? How can his captain forgive me? My people will dismiss the whole idea of participating in the Federation of Planets. If we as people had form things would have been different."_

Kollos had no reflection of himself to look at, only his feelings to relate to the situation. He didn't' know how long he lingered on Spock. His conscious mind decided to roam the ship, which made things worse for him. Kollos journeyed down in engineering, where he observed sorrowful looks on each face. He heard them chatter about the events on the bridge and the concern of their fallen commander. He listened to their conversation about Spock's accomplishments as an officer and the hope of speedy recovery. Kollos slowly moved to upper decks and corridors and it was the same, the crew was concerned about the outcome of their fallen commander. Spock was a lifeline to his people, he was admired and respected on the ship.

Kollos traveled again to every part of the ship and observed compassion for the logical Vulcan from the crew. Kollos heard from them how Spock had saved the ship and other countless lives. This made his heart, even more, sadden, Spock is part of a family; in human terms, he was loved and respected.

He came upon the woman that Spock desires, her countenance shown of concern and hopeless. Kollos brushed against her conscious and it revealed attraction and sorrow, her heart was heavy laden for Spock's recovery.

" _I will bring him back to you Uhura, I will do my very best to return Spock to you and have a future together."_

Kollos pledged to her, even though she could not hear him, Uhura bows her head as a tear trail down her cheek as if she did.

Kollos heads for sickbay, where he finds the captain and the doctor standing outside the door. And then Kollos observe the body of Spock, laying there quietly, sleeping peacefully. But Kollos knows of the war on the inside of Spock's sub-conscious.

* * *

**Miranda's POV:**

Miranda stands near the entrance of Spock's medical bed and slowly removes her outer web sensor dress. Miranda now has time on her hands, does she?

" _They are waiting for me to perform a miracle on Spock. What can I do? They doubted my abilities before, they didn't allow me the opportunity to guide the ship out of danger!"_

Miranda turns her face in shame: _"I couldn't even save Larry, and I tried!"_

Miranda lifts her arms in front of her and starts walking towards the bed and bumps into it to feel Spock's strong arm.

"I wish I could blame you for this Spock, but I can't. I can feel how others feel for you, they all admire you. I can't even beat you unconscious." snarled Miranda.

"Why do I… feel this resentment against you? Are you that perfect?" she sighs again.

Miranda sat on the edge of Spock's bed and thought about what had happened on the bridge.

She saw Kollos through Spock's mind and body, it moved her to her core. She felt like a shy sixteen-year-old girl with a crush. Kollos is attracted to her, something she had always wished for, dreamed about. But now that world has crashed, would he take her in this condition? While Spock in his present state, be a hindrance to their future? She didn't know, Spock accident has become a major focus. She had tried to reach Kollos, but he had closed the door of his consciousness to her. He has refused to acknowledge her presence has caused concern for her and the budding relationship.

"I have to fix this, I have to try. I can't have Kollos because of you. I regret what has happened to you Spock." tears start to flow down her cheeks.

"I am jealous of you, I was jealous of you. I didn't mean to spurn you or snap at you, it was because of my feelings for Kollos that I rejected you. I am sorry."

Miranda leans forward and places her hands over Spock's psy points and tried to meld.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside of sickbay:

Spock's two closest friends waited impatiently about his condition. Kirk is worried about his best friend who has saved his life multiple times. Now he unable to save him, only Miranda has that ability but yet Kirk paces with worry and regret of letting Spock meld with Kollos.

McCoy is worried as well, but it is out of his hands, he too feel helpless and also worried about Spock, this is one time with all his expertise is useless and helpless. He sees Jim pacing back forth in front of the door.

"Unless Miranda can look down into his mind and turn it outward to us, we will lose Spock."

Kirk didn't like the sound of that: "Vulcan mind techniques. They seem so untrustworthy, now that Spock's life is at stake."

Remembering all the times he requested Spock to mind-melt with someone or thing.

"Her knowledge of them may be the only thing that could save Spock's sanity, perhaps even his life."

McCoy, there was nothing he could do, it was beyond his skills, he didn't major in psychology.

Kirk knows that Miranda is the key to Spock's life, but can he trust her after what has happened since the ambassador and Miranda came aboard. The way she reacted to the death of Marvick and her jealous towards Spock.

"But does she want to? She's been in there so long."

"There's nothing else to be done."

Kirk is becoming irritated and impatient, he wants something done Now and snaps at McCoy.

"She tried to help Marvick. Marvick is dead."

"That's different. Marvick loved her." Injected McCoy. He knows what Jim is thinking that Miranda will let Spock die.

"And Spock is her rival. Is that any better? Even Spock felt the violence of her jealousy."

Kirk looks off in the distance of the corridor, longing to help his Vulcan friend from death. He turns and walks towards Bones.

McCoy sees the frustration in Jim's face and knows he wants action.

"But they weren't rival in love."

Kirk steps in front of the doors to sickbay, McCoy gently holds his arm.

"Jim, you shouldn't go in there."

"Whatever happens, Bones, don't interfere."

Kirk has made up his mind, he wants to make sure Miranda is going to help Spock. If she doesn't, then he will convince her. He walks into the observation room to save his friend's life.

* * *

**Spock's POV:**

" _Where am I? Why am I so alone? I can't see in front of me. Why….. ?"_

Spock lays in the deep darkness of his mind shaking in the cold.

" _Alone..._

_Alone..._

_so Alone."_

Spock shakes his head, he's trying to remember who he is. Then he screams into the lonely darkness. Spock slowly sees a sliver of light, sort of a beacon in the vast darkness; a thought returns.

" _I am a Vulcan_

_Yes, a Vulcan."_

" _YOU ARE HUMAN"_ states altered _"DON'T FORGET WHAT YOU ARE?"_

The light disappears and Spock starts to moan in pain, the pain of loneliness. The torment of his childhood emerges in front of him where his peers taunt him about his heritage. Spock defending himself against them only to be reprimanded for violence by his father. Tears fall on the young Spock as well as the grown one. Alone.

" _I want to be free, I can not take this pain much more. Someone, PLEASE HELP ME!:_ Spock curls his body deeper into a fetus position, trying to find relief from the pictures of his life around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Original script from OTS: There is Truth and No Beauty? By Startrek.com and name of episode.


	10. Facing the Truth!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inner thoughts and conversations are Italized.

**Spock's POV:**

Spock is still suffering in his sub-conscious waiting to die, he just couldn't take the condition that he is in. He doesn't know how long he been in the abyss of darkness, only the torment around him is endless. His own private hell.

 _"Spock"_ : a voice in the darkness.

Spock wasn't sure what he heard and he covered his ears to block, thinking it was another tormentor.  
 _  
"Spock."_

This time he heard it clearly and removed his hands from his ears, he knows this voice. Spock wanted to be sure it was real.

_"Spock, it is I."_

_"Father?"_

_"Yes"_

Spock sits up and the tormenting stops and disappears before him. He regains some sense of himself, but still shaking from the coldness around him.

_"I do not understand? Why… are you here?"_

_"I felt a disturbance in our family bond and I have come to seek you out. Tell me… what has happened?"_

_"I mind-melded with a Medusan and I suffering from the effects. I am a Vulcan without logic. I am ashamed to share this with you."_

_"Spock, there is no shame, only logic. If this was done in a logical purpose, then there is no shame."_

_"Presently, I have no logic, just... "_

_"I am aware, I see you're suffering my son, I have come to assist you._ "

Spock bows his head down, not knowing what to think or say. His father Sarek has come to rescue him. His conscious touching Spock starts to soothe the anguish that torments him.

_"I will lead you into a meditation of the teaching Surak, once this is accomplished you will find your way back."_

_"Yes, Father."_

Spock answered his father like a small child looking up to their parent. Spock sits in the lotus position and tries to closes his eyes. He felt his father's conscious touch his and it quickly gave him strength back to his mind. Spock starts to follow the first step into meditation. He has conquered his first battle, slowly Spock starts to regain Vulcan logic again with the guidance of his father and recites the laws:

 _"Logic is the boundary of meaning and reason  
Logic is the mother of all creation.  
Freed from emotion, one can see the hidden logic." _*

Spock did not know how long he was in meditation, there was no concept of time in his mind. Just the conscious presence of his father gave him peace. Sarek guided his son through all the principals of their people.  
Sarek watched his son gain strength from the regained teaching and was aware of his son's ability in telepathy. It is stronger than he had predicted and more powerful. Results of being bonded to Terran female.

_"Spock my son, it is time for me to depart, you have regained stability to achieve consciousness, but you will need assistance. Another mind meld is needed."_

_"I understand, there are two people who are capable for me to return to consciousness. They will reach me soon."_

_"Peace and long life my son."_

_"Live long and prosper my father, ...father give my respects to mother."_

Sarek did something un-Vulcan and smirked.

 _"I will give greetings to your mother."_  
Sarek of Vulcan departed from his son's conscious and Spock continues to recite the laws:

_"Accept everything that will happen to you, and persevere in your struggle, and have patience in your challenges."_

* * *

Meanwhile, back in sickbay:  
Miranda is standing over Spock's body when she heard the doors open to Spock's room. She turns to the sound of soft footsteps:  
"Who is it?  
Doctor McCoy?  
Who's there?"

Kirk steps in to see Miranda giving out rapid questions to his identity, he looks at her with a lost look and turns to see her sensory dress laying on another bio-bed, he steps towards the dress and picks it up to examines it. He realizes that Miranda couldn't tell who was in the room, confirming that she was unable to guide the ship without the dress:

"Captain Kirk" as he steps closer to Spock's bio-bed, and looks at his lost friend.

"No change?"

"Only that his life processes are ebbing."

Kirk didn't like the sound of that, he wondered what she was doing to help?

"What are doing about it?" Kirk walks around Spock's bed, looking at his lifeless body.

"Why, what I can, of course." Miranda notices Kirk's tone of voice and approach, she senses disappointment and… resentment.

"Which doesn't seem to be much." snaps Kirk.

"No doubt you think I can wake him with a kiss." Miranda gets prepared for more hostility from Kirk.

"It's worth a try, isn't it? After all, he's not a machine." Kirk looks at Miranda from across the opposite side of the bed.

Miranda starts to walk away from Spock and Kirk, she really feels the tension from him.

"But he is Vulcan."

"Only half. The other half is human. Far more human than you, apparently." snaps Kirk.

Miranda pleads her reason: "Face reality, Captain. His mind has gone down almost too far even for me to reach!"

Kirk didn't like that reason at all, he counterattacks; he doesn't want to lose Spock at any cost.  
"If you don't reach him soon, he'll die. But that's what you want, isn't it?" As Kirk confronts her face to face, now he feels he as the right to deal with what he thought about her.

"That's a lie!" As Miranda shakes her head in disbelief, did her jealousy lead to this?

"Oh yes! You want him to die. What did you do to him on the Bridge?" as Kirk grabs her shoulder to confront her face to face and draw Miranda out. "Did you make him forget to put the visor over his eyes?"

Miranda tried to break his grip and still shaking her head at the accusation.  
"Your insane!"

Kirk continues to speak firmly and still holding Miranda by her shoulders: "Yes, you know your rival, don't you? You couldn't keep him from making a mind-link with Kollos, something you couldn't do yourself!"

Miranda tried again to break his embrace and run from the accusation, it struck her heart and mind what Kirk was saying.

Kirk continues:  
"With my words, I'll make you hear such ugliness as Spock saw when he looked at Kollos with his naked eyes! The ugliness is within you!"

"That's a lie!" Shouted Miranda "Liar!"

Kirk holding her close to her ear, letting her hear what she needed to face. His anger towards her to what happened to Spock.

"Your desire to see Kollos is madness! You can never see him. NEVER! But Spock saw Kollos, and for that, he must die!"

With one final jolt, Miranda broke free from Kirk's grip and lunges forward towards Spock bio-bed:  
"Sadistic, filthy liar!" Miranda says snarlingly.

Kirk grabs one of her arms and continues his assault:  
"The smell of hatred, the stench of jealousy permeates you. Why don't you strangle him while he lies there?"

Miranda again attempts to break free from his grip: "Don't say anymore, please!"

Kirk continues to express his thoughts about her: "Kollos know what's in your heart. You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to Kollos!"

Miranda's face is exhausted, she couldn't hold back the tears much longer, the things Kirk is saying is hurting her more ways than one.

"Please go AWAY!"

With that Kirk released her arm and stares at her for a moment, and starts to walk backward, while Miranda still leaning over Spock. He hoped he made his point, he wanted her to save his friend. Kirk takes a few more steps back and turns to leave, he exits the door to be met by Bones waiting. McCoy sees the disheveled captain and asks aguishly.

"What'd you say to her?"

"Maybe too much."

"What's she doing in there?" McCoy wanted to know an update on his friend too.

Kirk looks at Bones and wondered if he did the right thing by going there, he doesn't know if he made it worse.

"You may be right, Bones. Maybe I shouldn't have gone in. She was blind, really blind. Really in the dark. And if he dies, If he dies, how do I know that I didn't kill him? … How… do I know that she can stand to hear the truth?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There is Truth and no beauty? TOS script from Startrek.com.  
> *Teaching of Surak by Gregory Hoover (inserts)


	11. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts and conversations are Italicized.

**Kollos POV:**

Kollos witnessed the confrontation between Captain Kirk and Miranda in the room. He felt their distress projected loudly through their thoughts of hatred, blame, and confusion. Kirk desperately wanting to save his first officer and friend. Kollos never saw such compassion for someone. It moved him, Miranda's jealousy has come full circle and now they are both responsible for the loss of the Vulcan.  
When Kirk left sickbay, Miranda was left broken, she was leaning against the wall, it was then he reveals himself to her.

_"Miranda..."_

_"Mindy"_

_"Yes, Kollos"_

_"I have seen and heard what has transpired with you and the captain."_

_"I didn't mean to hurt anyone Kollos, you must believe that."_

_"Both of our paths have interfered with others and caused friction."_

_"Yes, I agree with that statement. I didn't want Larry to die, I couldn't love him the way he wanted."_

_"I am aware of this."_

_"I am sorry for my jealousy over Spock and you, it's true that I am. But Kollos I didn't want this! I didn't, I swear!"_

_"I also, take responsibility, I felt something while I was in Spock's body, it gave me form to see you with his eyes. It pleases me. I too ask forgiveness for my part for Spock's condition."_

Miranda takes a deep breath with relief: _"Let's start again with this new awaking."_

_"I concur with your thoughts, lets by giving my friend Spock a second chance, he has someone special waiting for him."_

_"Someone special?"_

_"Yes, Spock needs companionship as you and I do, Miranda. So, let us both do this together as we seek our friend in his dark abyss."_

Kollos' mind merges into Miranda's as one to add the combined strength for the meld. Miranda feels Kollos in her mind and a new awareness is a birth for both of them. They will battle for Spock's consciousness together as one, it is what she always wanted to be close with him. Now Kollos sees her mind and heart.

Miranda stands up and approaches Spock's bed, feels her way up to his arm and crosses over his chest and presses her hand firmly on him.

"Now, Spock, this is to the death. Or to life for both of us."

Miranda says firmly as she reaches for his forehead and starts to meld with him. Her and Kollos fall together into the abyss, they pass through the darkness and jagged cliffs. Kollos instructed Miranda where to go from where he last saw Spock, falling deep into an abyss. They searched together in the vast area of his mind, they united their telepathic powers as a guide and to locate Spock. They saw him in the distance, standing and waiting like Spock was expecting them. Kollos was in Miranda's mind/meld so Spock wouldn't see him and lose him again because of his appearance. Miranda approached him:

_"Spock! Are you well?"_

_"Yes, Dr. Jones I am well."_

_"I am here to take you back, are you ready?"_

_"quite ready Dr. Jones."_

_"Before we go, Please accept my deepest apology for my behavior and Kollos' as well he meant no harm."_

_"I am grateful to just to return to my conscious state and I am aware nothing was intentional."_

_"Thank you, Miranda, for relaying that message, let us get to work and bring Mr. Spock to his people."_

With that, the darkness around them starts to clear and both of them are drawn to the light above them. They felt as if they were being transported into the light, Spock starts to experience events on the bridge and encounters with Kollos. Spock's conscious is coming to the surface.

Meanwhile, a battle on the outside is availing, Spock opens his eyes and his hands reach up to touch Miranda's pys points and they both meld him to consciousness. Finally, Spock returns, Miranda falls to the floor from exhaustion. Spock feels a little weak from the ordeal, often does from a complete mind/meld. He sat up to see Dr. Jones on the floor, he got off the bed and lifted her limp body to the bio-bed for her to rest.  
Spock went to go sit back on his bed and starts to meditate his thoughts. He remembers his father talking to him through the darkness and reciting Surak's logic. He remembers the torment as well. He had gained a father again to respect, he gathered that his father felt something for him and had seemed his thoughts about his life. When Spock finished meditating, he gathered himself to seek out his friends. He stood still, and Spock felt a little weak, but ignored it and sought out his friends, he heard voices in Dr. McCoy's office and steps towards the door. He touched the door opener and it slid open and slightly stumbles in.  
Jim was the first to see Spock and jumps up from the chair:

"Spock!"

McCoy leaps up too at the same time towards Spock, who is now leaning against the wall.

"You look like you've paid a visit to the devil himself."

Kirk and McCoy guide Spock to a nearby chair and gently sat him down.

Kirk looks at Spock and steps outside to the outer office: "Miranda?" and sees no one and returns to Spock.

* * *

Meanwhile in the sickbay room; Miranda is resting from the mind/meld and Kollos is still present in her thoughts.

 _"You have done well Mindy, I am pleased and proud. We have made amends to this situation. "_  
Kollos's thoughts intimately caress Miranda's.

_"I would be honored to be joined to you if you would have me. I can learn from you about relationships and I will continue to enhance your telepathic powers. Does this pleases you?"_

_"Yes Kollos, I've been waiting for you such a long time for this opportunity. To be one with you. You honor me with this offer. Thank you. I love you."_

_"You will teach this term you Terrans use, I hear it often in conversations."_

_"Yes, but there are different forms of love, and I will teach you."_

_"Rest my beloved Mindy and we will discuss it more, I will share this with my people as well."_

* * *

The news of Spock's recovery spread quickly and once Dr. McCoy gave him a complete physical and deemed him OK to return to duty the next day. When Spock was in his quarters, to took the opportunity to com-link Vulcan to speak with his father:

"Greetings sa-fu"

"Greetings Sa-mekha"

"Spock you are well it seems"

" Yes, I have recovered from my situation, Father I desired to extend gratitude for you being instrumental in my recovery."

"Spock I am aware of your difficulty with your heritage, it is I should extend such gratitude for your endurance and patience."

"There were times that my heritage was a hindrance but they are no longer a factor."

"This is good to know that you have come to an understanding."

* * *

They continued to talk like a father to son, and Spock was at peace with it. Spock explained the culture of the Medusan and its connection to the Federation.

When Spock reported for duty the next day he was confronted or bombarded with waves of emotions from the crew. He asked the captain about these forms of expressed emotions:

"Captain may I inquire a question" As they both walk towards the bridge for duty.

"Yes Spock, what is it."

Just then a crewman greeted Spock: "Welcome back Mr. Spock" and continued walking.

Spock stops and confers with Jim: "That captain, what is the meaning of that statement?"  
"I did not leave the ship for any length of time."

Jim looks up at friend and chuckles a little: "Why Mr. Spock the crew are pleased and happy about your recovery."

They continue walking towards the turbo "I was unaware that my welfare was a concern for the crew."

Jim turns to Spock again "Mr. Spock the crew has the utmost respect for as an officer, you are a vital person to this ship, and they are showing the respect that you deserve."

Spock just arch up one of his eyebrows: "indeed?" and they both report for duty.

The bridge crew all stood when Mr. Spock and the captain came on deck and they almost said at the same time.  
"Welcome back to duty Mr. Spock"

Spock bowed his head in gratitude and walked to his station to relieve the person there. Spock wasn't used to such endearments from the crew, he had no response to give back. While Jim just smiled at him and sat in his command chair, and the crew went back to work.


	12. Until We Meet Again

Chapter 12

The mission with Ambassador Kollos is almost over, and Kirk decided to give a farewell dinner. He wanted to establish a meaning relationship between the Federation and the Medusan's again. Kollos requested for Lt. Uhura to be present for the last meal. Kollos and Miranda's relationship has grown over the last two days, Kollos has developed a deeper feeling for Miranda that they had established a working and personal relationship. Kollos also will be there at the dinner in part through the mind/meld with Miranda.  
Uhura didn't know what to think when she was invited to the dinner, the captain informed her that her part of the communication team it would be informational for her.  
When the night of the dinner arrived the arrangement and tension at the table were much different from the last one.  
Miranda/Kollos sat next Lt. Uhura on her left, and Spock sat next to Uhura. Kirk sat on the other side of Miranda/Kollo and then McCoy and Scotty. Mr. Scott was not is jovial self in this setting, still feeling the effects of losing his friend and admired Marvick. The loss bothered him that one of the key designers of the Enterprise is dead and not able to share information.

Now the dinner centered around two beautiful women, which Kollos arranged on purpose. Both women were dressed elegantly, Uhura wore a lavender cocktail dress with long drop golden earrings, her hair was loose and fell to her shoulders. The men were staring at Uhura, who they never have seen out of uniform, now sitting in front of them with her beauty radiating.  
Spock again is wearing the IDIC necklace to show respect towards Dr. Jones and is aware that he is sitting next to Uhura. Dr. Jones conversed more with Uhura:  
"Luitenant it is my understanding that you speak over 100 languages," asked Miranda/Kollos.

Uhura turned to them and chuckles: "No not quite, I speak approximately 74 languages."

"Most interesting, and we are aware you also have navigation abilities which cause for a major in mathematics."

"You are correct, I do know how to navigate this ship and other types of ships as well."

"Captain Kirk, you have another valuable crewman on your ship as well as Mr. Spock." declared Miranda/Kollos.

Kirk was so involved at staring at Uhura, that he missed the question. "I'm sorry, I was.. thinking about something else."  
Kirk and McCoy were thinking at the same time if Miranda/Kollos was flirting with Uhura as he did on the bridge. They were both staring at Uhura and how beautiful she looked in her almost low cut flowing dress.  
"Lt. Uhura has navigation skills that are also useful on your ship captain."

"I would like to think the whole crew has multi-skills that are vital to this ship."

At the end of the night, Miranda returns to Kollos' room to exchange their departure, mind/melts can be taxing on the host.

"Thank you, Mindy, for letting me partake in the fellowship."

"It is not a problem at all darling Kollos.": she said with a smile, his presence in her consciousness gave her a new glow and meaning in life.

"Goodnight my beloved." and Kollos departed into his carrier.

* * *

Spock sat quietly in his quarters thinking about the one woman he would like to be acquainted with. He observed her appearance closely and was drawn to her beauty. He noticed the other men as well looking at the stunning Lt. Relationship with females has not been successful for him and Lord Byron's poem played through his mind as he prepared to get ready for bed.

* * *

The dinner was a success and the time has come for the Ambassador and Miranda to depart to the Medusan ship as scheduled. The relationship with Dr. Jones turned into friendship, versus a couple of days of go, where it was toxic with hostility.  
Spock and Dr. Jones were escorting Kollos to the transporter room, and again Spock is wearing his emblem necklace to represent respect for her career. As they walk down the corridor, Kollos brushes against Spock's conscious.

_"Spock I want to personally thank for helping me and befriending me as well."_

_"Kollos I was enlightened by your presence and encouragement during your stay on the ship."_

_"Spock I believe the seeds have been planted for your involvement with Ms. Uhura. I found her conversation at dinner stimulating. She is an intelligent woman."_

_"Ms. Uhura has contributed to many aspects to her duty and she is an outstanding officer."_

_"Spock, I think you should take the next step into leading into a meaningful relationship, she will make a compatible mate."_

_"I will consider you request Ambassador."_

_"Don't stall Spock, she is ready to receive you and I know this."_ giving Spock a smirk into his thoughts.

Spock and Miranda entered the transporter room and walked up the step to place the carrier on the pad. Miranda steps down to converse with McCoy, while Spock removes the bracket from the carrier.

McCoy takes her hand as she steps down from the pad. And then he takes both his hands and covers hers and smiles:  
"You have what you wanted most."

Miranda sounding cheerful, smiling and happy for the first time: "I am one with Kollos."

"Well, I'm truly sorry that you're leaving. Goodbye."  
McCoy turns and leaves while Spock is still on the transporter pad observing.

Miranda turns to face Kirk;  
"We come to the end of an eventful trip, Captain."

"I didn't think you'd even talk to me."  
Kirk approaches her, with a rose behind his back. He felt bad how he attacked her about Spock, but it had to be done to save him.

"Well, I have you to thank for my future, Your words enable me to see." Miranda actually smiled about it. The truth hurts and comforts.

"Miranda, good luck,... Health. I have something for you." Kirk brings the red rose close and she turns to the flower to take.

"I suppose it has thorns."

"I never met a rose that didn't."Kirk smiles at her, and Miranda returns a smile at Kirk.

Miranda turns towards the pad and approaches Spock as he was stepping down, her once rival.  
"I know now the great joy you felt when you joined minds with Kollos."

"I rejoice in your knowledge and in your achievement."

"I understand, Mr. Spock, the glory of creation is in its infinite diversity."

"And the ways our differences combine to create meaning and beauty." Spock steps away and heads toward the transporter console, while Miranda steps on the transporter pad and prepares to leave, she turns back to Spock and gives a farewell greeting.

"Peace and long life, Spock."

"Live long and prosper, Miranda." Spock puts on his visor to beam Kollos and Miranda to his rendezvous ship.

Spock transported them as the Kirk looked on, then Kirk left. Spock was left standing behind the transporter console thinking about Kollos had said to him about Uhura. Could he have a relationship with this woman? Kollos suggested that she might even have feelings for him, females are so complex. Spock arched up one of his eyebrows and folded his long arms behind his back and starts to walk towards the doors, he turns and looks at the transporter platform and says

"Fascinating" and leaves for duty.


	13. Nice to Meet You-Finally

Chapter 13

The Enterprise is back on course, and the crew continued their duties. It was then Spock decided to have a conversation with Lt. Uhura, to seek her out. It was during the relief of duty where most of the bridge crew did their exchange and she was exiting to the turbolifts and Spock followed close behind with Chekov.

"Hey Uhura, are you doing anything special tonight?" asked Chekov.

"Nothing in particular, just relaxing and reading a book," replies Uhura.

"Wondering if you want to head out the recreation room and entertain us with one of your songs?

Uhura quickly thought about it: "Sorry Pavel, not in the mood tonight have to get up early for my department."

The turbo stops and they both didn't say anything to Spock who was standing there with them during the whole conversation. Spock was relieved that she turned down the invitation, he was working up the courage himself to ask her out.

"See you tomorrow Uhura."

"Goodnight Pavel"

The turbo starts again to the officers' deck, Spock has 45.84 seconds to strike a conversation with her. He remembered everything that Kollos had conveyed to him about Uhura so he turns his head in her direction:  
"Lt. Uhura"

Uhura looks at him to give his attention.  
"Yes Mr. Spock"

"Would you join me in a beverage in the mess hall."

Uhura's eyes opened wide, a small gasp came out between her lips and stared up into his deep dark brown eyes.  
"Why…. sure Mr. Spock"

Spock stops the turbo and redirects it to the mess hall deck.

"I would like to engage in a conversation about the Medusan's, you would find it quite interesting."

Uhura's heart is beating loudly in her chest, she felt shocked and excited at the same time. She didn't know what to expect from the Vulcan. They exited the turbo heading towards the mess hall, Spock has his hands behind his back, while Uhura looked straight head as her mind is racing. A personal invitation by Mr. Spock, the loner! She never would have thought she would have a conversation with him unless it involves a communication log in or data. Well, this is about communication. They entered the room and there weren't too many people around. They went to the replicator and ordered their beverages. Uhura took a chai tea while Spock took Plomeek tea. He led her to a far table to avoid distractions and interruptions, and they sat. Spock starts the conversation professionally, not knowing too much about human courtship, he starts to relax once he starts talking.

"Ms. Uhura I am aware that linguists and social cultures are in your realm of expertise."

"Yes it is Mr. Spock, but unfortunate for me, the Medusan will be one of those species I won't know linguistically."

"Yes I am aware of this, and I am willing to share pertinent information about the Medusan language and culture if you wish."

Uhura looks across from him and sits up, and surprised and willing to know more.  
"Why thank you Mr. Spock, I am very interested, may I ask you some questions?"

Spock bows his head in a gesture of yes.

"Do the Medusans have language? Before they became pure thought?"

"Yes according to the Ambassador, millenniums ago when they had physical form, they communicated with a series of math formulas. The Ambassador showed me some of their language and echolations."

Uhura's mouth fell open, a language completely in math symbols. Her finger runs around the rim of her cup taking in what Spock had said.  
"Wow Mr. Spock, I wonder how it sounds and looks like."

They continued to talk about the Medusan culture and mind-melding. Spock explains the pros and cons of touch telepathy according to Vulcan standards. Uhura gravitated to everything Spock was saying.

"Ms. Uhura I can give more information about the linguistics of the Medusans to give you a better perspective of communication of the species and mind-melding."

"I am very interested Mr. Spock."

"You are aware mind-melding is the sharing of thoughts of one another, for me to give this information, I .. must meld with you for you to understand the full concept of the Medusans. You may decline from this form of contact."

Uhura didn't take long to make up her mind, she was very interested not only in the culture of the Medusans but in Spock as well. A smile formed across her face.

"I wouldn't mind at all Mr. Spock, in fact, I would be honored."

"Interesting, tomorrow evening after duty. If you could join me in my quarters at 1800 hours. I would need time to meditate and prepare, is this convenient for you Ms. Uhura?"

"That would be acceptable Mr. Spock."

They both stood up and placed their empty cups in the dispenser and headed towards the turbo while still talking about other mind melds Spock has done. He was sharing with her about the Horta how he touched her mind and found the reason why she took avenge against the miners.  
Uhura saw the advantages of telepathy, verses invasion of one's privacy. She took the perspective of Mr. Spock's way and she found it less evasive.

"Wow, she was the last of her kind and you saved her!"

"Ms. Uhura, we all contributed to the safety of the creature."

"But Mr. Spock, you're the science officer, it was your responsibility to preserve if possible all life forms."

Spock was touched by her last comment, she understood of preserving life as he knew it. he was reprimanded for giving the order to not to shoot the creature. Captain Kirk had to override his request.  
When the lift ended to their deck they said their goodbyes. (for now)

"Thank you, Mr. Spock, for an enlightening moment and sharing with me information about the Medusans. I did feel left out because I didn't have telepathy."

"It is no consequence Ms. Uhura, knowing your knowledge in linguistics and xeno-linguistics should have you qualified with Ambassador Kollos and , he was impressed with your navigation abilities once he was aware of your qualifications."

Uhura just stared at him, she couldn't believe that he said the most wonderful thing about her. Her heart skipped a beat, she wanted to hug him or something. But they stood in the middle of the corridor, looking at each other. She could really go for this Vulcan if she knew how.  
"Good evening Mr. Spock"

"Good evening Ms. Uhura."

They both turned in the opposite directions to their quarters, with anticipation for the next day and the next step in their relationship.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The prejudice that beauty is not what it seems and the expectations behind it. That includes Spock as well, the prejudice that his character faced daily. This my rendition of those missed conversations with Kollos. I used some of the actual dialogs from the episode and combined them with mine. Star Trek script.com  
> Is There in Truth no Beauty? inserted in my story.


End file.
